Even when things are going great, we all are a work in progress. There's always something that could be better, should be better, or could be changed. This is something I try to keep in the back of my mind, especially to avoid complacency in training and school. But now, it has to be the driver behind everything I do: I'm more than a work in progress. I'm a pile of blocks, waiting to be assembled.
I'm in my second week of running since feeling no pain in my ankle, and there has been this trajectory in my attitude towards this favorite form of exercise of mine. During the first run, you couldn't wipe the smile from my face; I felt light on my feet and fast, mostly because it is the fastest I have move with my own two feet in a while. The second run was a repeat of the first, but I noticed I was breathing heavier and shuffling more. Now during every run I watch the trees pass slowly and the concrete barely move from beneath my feet. Uh-Oh. It's the "Oh crap, I'm out of shape, and running is so much harder than I remember" stage. For example, during my first track workout, I ran a 1:33 400. But it felt like I had just sprinted to a photo finish against Sanya Richards. It gave me a new appreciation for what I used to be able to do.
Friday I did my first 6 miler in a long time. It was the same route that I ran practically every non-track morning in my marathon buildup last fall. It was that run that knocked some sense into me. I have to enjoy the process of getting back to that level, not just wanting it all to come at once. Building back up could be fun, right? I can watch myself get stronger with every mile, take time off of my tempo pace 15 seconds at a time, add another 400. Something is actually enticing about taking it slow. A 3 mile run is an actual workout? Who would have thought? I know where my fitness is now, but there's no telling where it will be in 3 months. Maybe I'll be even faster than before.
In a non-running related note, thinking that you won't get any better at something isn't worth the brain cells. As frustrating as new things are, it's really a waste to sulk about mediocrity. Keeping that hope that things will fall into place is motivating; it gets you out there even when it's the last thing you want to do. Frustration has to be the most useless emotion on the earth.
Sidenote: Since I have been injured, I have been lifting a lot; and I do believe that I have fallen in love with deadlifting. I noticed on my bike ride yesterday that my back didn't hurt near as much as it usually does. So if you experience back pain while riding, try strengthening your erector spinae. Deadlifting is great, but back extensions and supermans should do the trick also. I didn't realize how weak my back was until I gave deadlifting a try.
