When presented with an obstacle, we can find out a lot about ourselves. Whether its dealing with the suffering in a race, a life disappointment, or even failure. I like to say that what defines my character is how I act when things are going well, however I'm starting to realize that the reality is the exact opposite.
Just like that quote from middle school-- "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it", (err...something like that) we show our true colors in the face of adversity. It has a lot to do with perspective; how you categorize a situation in your mind. Sometimes even the most minor mishap can balloon to a catastrophe if you choose it to be so. To the same tune, a huge roadblock can become even taller if you panic about how to get around it. We seem most inclined to take the path of least resistance, which in most cases is allowing that negativity to get the better of us.
Okay, so I'm about to do something really weird with this post.
I was sifting through the multiple (scatterbrained) blog drafts that I have, and when I came across this one it stopped me in my tracks. I really like this pair of paragraphs, but there's something wrong, particularly with the first one. You can tell that I truly believed that I was defined by my occasional meltdowns...which was not too far from the truth at the time. I think I wrote this in November 2011, which was in the midst of one of my roughest semesters. Such a paradigm was not uncommon for me at the time. I can tell that if I had finished this blog, it would probably be a 500 word paradox. I would have tried to sort out my situation, arriving at the conclusion that I simply had a faulty outlook on life and that there was nothing that I could do about it. I had clearly lost my rose colored glasses. It's taken me about a year and a half, but I found them again.
There's no reason to believe that life is anything other than beautiful. Even if it's a beautiful mess, it's still beautiful. When you start to look at the world as something that keeps going round rather than something that stands still at times, it gives you a new perspective. As aforementioned, how we categorize events in our minds affects our outlook and attitude. Attitude is ours to own and to protect.
I had always believed (and told others) that people can change if they are willing and have the right environment. Sure, it sounded nice in my blog, but I realized that there is some intangible factor that must be added in. If I could tell you what it is, I would. It's a combination of the concrete and abstract;the product of other people, feelings, long thought trains, situations. Somewhere along the way I had a "life: you're doing it wrong" moment. I'm far from perfect (aren't we all?) and that's exactly how I want it.
Life isn't success.
Life isn't a GPA or test score.
Life isn't a race.
Life isn't proficiency.
Life is doing the things that you couldn't live without with the people that you couldn't live without.
PS: There was nothing too terribly wrong about what I wrote. But there was
something wrong with the standpoint in which I was writing. I don't
often publish emotional drafts, but when I do, I edit them first ;)
Friday, January 18, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Reminiscing
While I was home over winter break, I did a lot of reminiscing. It was just so easy to do, with dusty old trophies, high school shirts, and our home cross country course a mere 3 minute drive from my house. And then I found this gem above. This picture was taken moments after I ran my high school PR at Polk Community College at the 2008 regional championship (time: 21:18). I love this photo because of the awkward contrast between the jubilant expression on my mom's face and the misery on mine. I remember exactly how I felt when this was taken: delirious, exhausted, but deeply happy and satisfied. Our team had a great race, and we qualified for states. Everyone had season PR's, and it felt even better because we went to the race knowing that we were on the borderline of qualification. Those were the days. I knew at this point that I loved cross country and running, and I can't wait until this awesome sport comes back into my life down the road.
I took a run to Wall Springs Park (our home course) and sat on the bench where our team convened before our races. As I ran my fingers down the imperfectly painted wood, I thought of all the memories I had there. My only cross country win. The mysterious calf cramps. Leading the race the wrong way, and making it a 6K (I'm getting everybody ready for college, coach...). From where I was sitting, I could see the finish line and the first mile marker. Every time I ran past that point, I would look to coach with hopeful eyes...and then hear "6:20...6:21...". Shi--, I remember thinking, that's too fast! Again! I'm gonna die! And I almost always did.
Cross country taught me a lot of things. It taught me that 5K's really hurt. It taught me perseverance. Being a captain taught me leadership, and the people that I met taught me about friendship. I learned about proper training, which I didn't do until college; but without that crash course and first-hand experience, I wouldn't have been able to be the athlete and coach that I am today. Cross country lit a competitive fire in me that was unlike any soccer match that I played. Although I may have been running alone at the time, I could always feel the weight of my team's accountability on my shoulders when another jersey passed me. It was like watching points getting added to the scoreboard, slowly and painfully.
Sometimes I felt like this......and other times I felt more like this,
but cross country will always have a place in my heart.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
How to make real resolutions
The end of the year is a popular time for people to assess the 365 days that have past and to look forward those that lie ahead. Although we could theoretically do this any time of the year, it just seems appropriate to look at the big picture as the curtains are opening to another year. Some people take the time to make New Year's resolutions, and others take the time to scoff at the people who do. Most resolutions float away like a balloon at a child's 3rd birthday party; dissipating into thin air somewhere around the beginning of February. Why does this happen? How can something that we care about changing become just another thought in dreamland?
It's not because most resolutions are too idealistic. Any change we want to see in ourselves is possible. The problem is that people are too focused on the outcome and not the little steps that they have to take to get there. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a lifestyle change is not likely to be built in a year. Sure, that "big picture" has to be there, because that is what you'll ultimately be painting. But just as you wouldn't throw a can of paint on a canvas, you have to plan out and execute the individual brush strokes. I find that the best way to do this is to work backwards. The hardest part is how to start solving a problem, (any physics student will tell you that) so it's comforting to start with what you know best: where you want to be. Think of all the things that must happen for your resolution to become a reality, and start with the easiest one to accomplish in the present. Then, you're on your way. Before you know it, you'll be looking at a long list of positives that you've introduced into your life. That's better than just looking at the big goal, if you ask me.
Resolutions fail because we tend to look at things through a superficial lens. Oftentimes, we look at certain aspects of our lives too objectively. We see something wrong, and so we attempt to fix it; we take little time in discovering what may have caused the problem in the first place. It's kind of like saying that a headache is a [insert pain medication name here] deficiency. People don't get headaches from not taking enough Advil...that's absurd. There was something that caused the headache in the first place, and ultimately remedying the cause is the best way to get rid of and prevent future maladies. Ask yourself why you want this change, and why you need this change. Take it a step further and ponder if the answer isn't the first one that comes to mind. One example of this is a musculoskeletal injury. Pain in one location is almost certainly caused by a weakness in another, less obvious location. A good metaphor for this (I read this in an article and therefore can't take credit for it's brilliance) is wrapping a thera-band around the back of your head and pulling tightly. You will feel the pain in the back of your neck, but that isn't the origin of the pain. The origin of the pain is the tension in the band, which is located distally from your head. Looking past the obvious is difficult, because it seems most logical. Take some time to delve into the reasons why you are making this resolution. It just might help you in making those little steps.
No resolution stands a chance when it's attacked alone. Even the most disciplined people in the world have someone to report to. It's disappointing to let yourself down, but it's even more disappointing to let someone else down. Whether it be a coach, a friend, a parent, or teacher...human nature has constructed this mentality that others matter more than ourselves. Surround yourself with people either with the same goal or who care about your goal. I've always said to surround yourself with people who model the behavior that you want to see in yourself, but it's even more important to have people who have a modulating role in your life. Fear of disappointment can be extremely powerful if it is handled in the right way.
The word resolution gets a lot of flack because it's usually associated with crowded gyms, sold out bags of spinach and boneless chicken breasts, and February blues. But it doesn't have to be that way. It's totally possible to stick to a New Year's resolution, even if they are a weird concept (I've always thought it strange that people think they have a clean slate and new lease on life because it's January 1st). The beginning of the year is as good as any other to make life improvements. In the meantime, I'll be grumbling through the new gym crowd.
For the record: I do have some resolutions this year, and none of them are fitness related. In short, my encompassing thought heading into 2013 is to make my "worlds" (school, friends, triathlon, personal training, work) work together better. I will live my life as a whole, rather than in sections. I will show people that I love them, rather than merely saying so. I will be healthier from the inside out, pouring into my passions without spreading myself too thin.
Happy New Year all! Make good choices!
It's not because most resolutions are too idealistic. Any change we want to see in ourselves is possible. The problem is that people are too focused on the outcome and not the little steps that they have to take to get there. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a lifestyle change is not likely to be built in a year. Sure, that "big picture" has to be there, because that is what you'll ultimately be painting. But just as you wouldn't throw a can of paint on a canvas, you have to plan out and execute the individual brush strokes. I find that the best way to do this is to work backwards. The hardest part is how to start solving a problem, (any physics student will tell you that) so it's comforting to start with what you know best: where you want to be. Think of all the things that must happen for your resolution to become a reality, and start with the easiest one to accomplish in the present. Then, you're on your way. Before you know it, you'll be looking at a long list of positives that you've introduced into your life. That's better than just looking at the big goal, if you ask me.
Resolutions fail because we tend to look at things through a superficial lens. Oftentimes, we look at certain aspects of our lives too objectively. We see something wrong, and so we attempt to fix it; we take little time in discovering what may have caused the problem in the first place. It's kind of like saying that a headache is a [insert pain medication name here] deficiency. People don't get headaches from not taking enough Advil...that's absurd. There was something that caused the headache in the first place, and ultimately remedying the cause is the best way to get rid of and prevent future maladies. Ask yourself why you want this change, and why you need this change. Take it a step further and ponder if the answer isn't the first one that comes to mind. One example of this is a musculoskeletal injury. Pain in one location is almost certainly caused by a weakness in another, less obvious location. A good metaphor for this (I read this in an article and therefore can't take credit for it's brilliance) is wrapping a thera-band around the back of your head and pulling tightly. You will feel the pain in the back of your neck, but that isn't the origin of the pain. The origin of the pain is the tension in the band, which is located distally from your head. Looking past the obvious is difficult, because it seems most logical. Take some time to delve into the reasons why you are making this resolution. It just might help you in making those little steps.
No resolution stands a chance when it's attacked alone. Even the most disciplined people in the world have someone to report to. It's disappointing to let yourself down, but it's even more disappointing to let someone else down. Whether it be a coach, a friend, a parent, or teacher...human nature has constructed this mentality that others matter more than ourselves. Surround yourself with people either with the same goal or who care about your goal. I've always said to surround yourself with people who model the behavior that you want to see in yourself, but it's even more important to have people who have a modulating role in your life. Fear of disappointment can be extremely powerful if it is handled in the right way.
The word resolution gets a lot of flack because it's usually associated with crowded gyms, sold out bags of spinach and boneless chicken breasts, and February blues. But it doesn't have to be that way. It's totally possible to stick to a New Year's resolution, even if they are a weird concept (I've always thought it strange that people think they have a clean slate and new lease on life because it's January 1st). The beginning of the year is as good as any other to make life improvements. In the meantime, I'll be grumbling through the new gym crowd.
For the record: I do have some resolutions this year, and none of them are fitness related. In short, my encompassing thought heading into 2013 is to make my "worlds" (school, friends, triathlon, personal training, work) work together better. I will live my life as a whole, rather than in sections. I will show people that I love them, rather than merely saying so. I will be healthier from the inside out, pouring into my passions without spreading myself too thin.
Happy New Year all! Make good choices!
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