Okay, so before you read this: yes, this blog is referring to a scene in Bridesmaids. I love that movie because it's hilarious, but it actually has a very strong underlying message. I know it's sad that I'm writing 500 words about a scene in a movie about feuding Bridesmaids and a cute cop with an adorable accent. But bear with me.
This particular scene is towards the end of the movie when Megan visits Annie at her mother's house, where she recently moved in because she has finally "hit bottom". After putting her 7 puppies on the porch, Megan sits down on the couch to talk to Annie. Annie expresses her state of depression and remorse over ruining her best friends wedding, and says "I have no friends...". Megan jumps on this immediately, and says "You know what Annie, I think it's funny that you are sitting here telling me that you have no friends when you have a friend right here, trying to talk to you." (don't quote me exactly on this; it would take me twice as long to write this if I looked up the quotes and everything, haha) She then goes on to say "I'm life, Annie, and I'm here to bite you in the ass. Are you going to fight back or what?" This awkward struggle on the couch has really applied to my life recently. And here's why.
Something snapped last Friday. It was probably the culmination of several things, but I felt like I got hit with a brick of emotions that I had never experienced before. Never before had I felt that endurance sports was a negative in my life. I thought that training and racing had given me everything I had: friends, success, fun, etc. But that was the problem. Who am I without training? I realized that I couldn't answer that question, and I'm not going to lie, it scared me a bit. Did I need to delete it from my life for a while? What would it be like to not think about racing or running or staying in shape?
At first, that seemed like a clear answer. But as the initial emotion wore off, I found that it wasn't the sport that was the problem. I was the problem. I had things to work out with myself, and I had to take an honest look at how I was reacting.
Several of my friends reached out to me, as I was clearly upset. But all I wanted to do is sulk, and tell them how much I hated certain flaws that I have. My doors were shut, even as they were trying to pry them open. Even the kindest words seemed to bounce off, and although I listened, I couldn't bring myself to believe any of it.
I was like Annie, sitting on the couch with a pouting face. But after a few long talks a couple of hugs, I began to feel myself again. Life had bit me--but I had great friends to ease the pain.
The moral of the story, for me anyway, is never to take those closest to you for granted. One of the greatest joys of life are the people that you spend it with. Never let a chance to show your appreciation for someone's friendship slip by. The best feeling in the world is being loved, and the best way to receive love is to give it. I feel so lucky to have great people in my life, and I can only hope that I can be there for others twice as much as people are there for me. It's a simple act, being there for someone, but it's worth more than anything in this world.
To all of my friends and family, I love you. And I'll be here when you need me, as you have been for me so many times.
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